i think i found my new favorite coffee house. coffee from heaven. a perfect example of good christian marketing. the best part is, they serve Starbucks©.

today i spent much needed “down” time on the net.

down time is wasted time really, adding freinds to facebook. write a tweet. making a youtube video of my latest screen saver. search for people on the dreaded myspace (to no avail!). read up on my feeds, organized my bookmarks, and played with a new freeware app for my mac called “butler”.

Butler was the highlight of my evening. i found myself laughing becasue it was so functional. a tool that actually makes things easier… amazing.

one of the other things i did was begin the long process of manually migrating all our old posts from blogger to wordpress. there is probably a faster way to do it, but i have enjoyed reading our old posts…. from 2004… whoa. and that’s when i switched to blogger from freewebs where i had wrote all my posts in html (anyone remember julieandjesse.happy-couple.com in 2003?)

it is interesting to go back and read the struggles we had 3 and 4 years ago. for instance Julie wrote a post in 2005 entitled “Life is Hard” where she said

Ever since our move to Tucson, my whole spiritual life has been challenged and it seems like the easiest thing to do is just give up. [ … ]where is God???

we have come so far, and grown up so much. we posted some of the craziest stuff. some pretty embarrassing even.

so here’s to realizing we have had a website and blog for over 4 years now. let’s hope we learn how to use it someday.

» the happy couple in 9/1/03
* special thanks to The Way Back Machine for keeping an archive of the internet since 1996 or something like that.

Natalie is developing her spelling and writing skills. tonight she just sat down and wrote her name, and i had to share it with you. you can also see the video from our spelling session. she learned the word “PIG” tonight.

in other news, i have finally realized i might be dependent on caffeine. i went to bes last night at 11pm and opened (4am) this morning at Starbucks, and it was my worst morning ever. i think everyone else could tell too. i was just so tired. the funny thing is i get free coffee on my shift, and i didn’t drink any, and i didn’t drink any the rest of my day. that was not a good idea. it turns out i need it more than i thought - i could hardly function. i have also been putting in long hours, and not seeing much sleep. so am i addicted to caffeine, or just need rest, or both?

see: defend your coffee habit

i have great memories being at the Kirkman’s house and playing “Fagen Scrabble” as i called it (if i remember right, they called it fast scrabble). It was a great game of speed, spelling, and fun.

i just found out that someone has made the game official, and marketed it as banagrams. during our anniversary date to olive garden and walking around the mall, i happened to see this game packaged in a cloth banana peal.

it’s a really simple game, and if you are bored of the typical scrabble this might be a nice alternative. all you really need is a set of scrabble letters, a table and the rules.

http://www.bananagrams-intl.com/instructions.asp

princesses are very popular right now. i am not sure why, but i know it must have something to do with marketing and mass commercial brainwashing (which are very hard to tell apart). Natalie is recovering from her party yesterday. we had one whole wall decorated like the inside of a princess castle, and all kinds of princess freinds, treats and games.

it was very cool. Natalie loves having her friends over. she spent everyday the week before counting and naming everyone who was invited, everyone who was coming, and everyone who was a “maybe”. she officially turns 3 years old on the 12th. some recent milestones are her going to the potty on her own all the time now, and hopefully retirement of the “binky” this week. we’ll see how that goes.

check out Natalie’s birthday pics
a video clip from the party
the wall street journal on the “princess revolution”

Out the three i have celebrated, this had to be my very best father’s day ever.
I really don’t remember the others, but that’s maybe what prompted me to write about this one.

What made it so special was going on an evening walk with my 2 and a half year old daughter, and just laughing and having a good time. Coming home with her on my shoulders, explaining all kinds of things, and just hearing her laugh… i realized how much i love being a dad, and how often i forget how much i love it.

I have never really experienced a family death before, especially not of someone that I felt close too. Margie Jesse’s aunt has been struggling to fight and beat cancer for the last year and half going from breast cancer to tumors to blood clots, surgery after surgery. Her body couldn’t handle it anymore she died Wednesday morning.

The shock wave has come and the tears and the anger and the question of why. But the feelings I have seem much deeper then that. Maybe it’s normal not sure haven’t gone through anything like this before. Knowing that someone you loved and cared about spent time with shared things that you didn’t share with anyone else will never be here anymore.

Right now I am questioning my actions.. and saying ” I wish I had done…..” a lot. I wish i would have talked to her more , visited her more, asked her more questions, done more for her. Although after a recent conversation I told her sorry for not being around more and she understood…. I know that she understood infact she wanted to be close to her husband and kids more then anyone else and that is the way it should be. I say “did she know that we loved her” Yes, she knew. When it comes to in-laws Margie I think always understood me the best and we could always talk about spiritual things or about life and both be on the same page we had some of the same goals and she was in a lot of ways a mentor. If I was ever uncomfortable or shy about certain family things she always understood or encouraged me.

I am not sure what the next step is. I think I feel sad but it’s like deeper then sad it’s afeeling that can’t really be explained. It’s something that I feel hits deep down in the pit of my stomach i think in situations like this you want to be strong but need to admit you are weak. I am weak.

I will miss her!

We are back from our California vacation. This year we could not afford to drive out to Missouri for our annual trip, so we took a few days off for less than half the cost and drove to to the west coast.

It’s not everyday that you get to hold hands with a real princess like Snow White, but Disneyland is “where dreams come true”.

We decided to go to Disneyland for two reasons: the kids were free, and our daughter is in love with everything Disney. She got to meet Mickey & Minnie Mouse, Winnie the Pooh, Ariel, see other characters, ride fun safe kid rides, and really have an exciting time. The very best part (in for me at least!) was when Snow White took hold of her hand to walk around the maypole thingy. That made the trip for me. In all my lame awesomeness, i got pictures of this wonderful moment (see picture above - and click to view large size and confirm).

I have some tips for a Disneyland trip if you ever want to know. One of them is to be 2 hours early - we were the first in line to enter the enchanted gates!

Anyway, we are back now. I leave Tuesday to go to Missouri where Three Days Under is playing for the CCCB alumni banquet, and then i am on to Flora, Illinois for the Impact Conference. I will be back the 22nd - probably ready to get back into “the swing” of things.

Lately every night has ended with a routine starting with bath time around 7:30 PM and then story time with Dad around 8 - 8:30 PM.

The great thing is we read the same two books every night (and sometimes three)…

Go, Dog. Go!
and
The Giving Tree
(and sometimes Oh! The Places You’ll Go)

David is usually asleep by story time, so Natalie brings the books to the living room and sits in Dad’s lap hanging on my every word.

We have read these two books so many times that some nights i can let her read them, picking out the words she remembers, adding some of here own, and licking her fingers as she turns each page.

Her favorite part of Go, Dog. Go! is where they wake up from sleeping because i get real quiet and slowly turn the page as she giggles and then i loudly break into the morning page.

Mostly i have really been taking in the message of The Giving Tree. I realize it’s just a kids book, but it seems to have some deeper meaning to me.

I think the tree represenst life, and as children we just enjoy life, and life makes us happy. Then things get complicated….

We learn about money. I have been there. Where life is all about money, and you learn how it seems to make everything happen, and the only thing that makes you happy is financial security, and having things figured out… make money, budget, save, give, spend, happy.

Then we build a house. That is where i am. It’s the settling stage i think. Not in location, but in relationships. You marry, maybe have some kids, things are easy to understand and you find happiness in going through life in cruise control, avoiding too much drama, and learning when to shut up.

Then there is the next stage. I don’t understand this stage. When we get to it in the book i take my time and just stare at the drawing of the middle aged man. He wants “a boat that will take me far away”… I seriously ponder that stage. That is where i will be soon. 20 years will have gone by and most will be a blur. Not a whole lot of adventure. Sure, i will use some grand words like “life-changing” and “meaning”, but for the most part things will stay unchanged, and i will be disappointed with my life … i guess…
And the final stage. There is no way i can even sample this stage yet, but i have seen it. Life doesn’t have much to offer, and you really don’t have much need for life anymore. Then old man is searching for “a quiet place to sit and rest” because he is tired. I am not tired yet, but i will be someday…i think…

Anyway, that is my deep thoughts from story time with Daddy.

*the ideas and interpretation portrayed in this mediocre, melancholy blog post are by no means whatsoever a reflection of the authors original intentions so just don’t try and sue anyone over it.

I am back now…

It was an amazing, eye-opening experience, and i will be going back i know. I wrote journals everyday and tracked all my experiences, and i thought about posting them all, but i figured just one wrap-up post might be much better.

It feels like i have been gone a year, and i have so much to catch up on and re-learn. The main thing that has changed about me is that i left my guitar in Africa - with the church there. I really felt God leading me to give it to them, and i really couldn’t think of a reason to keep it. It was so awesome to see their thankfulness, and give something from my heart.

Halfway through the trip i was depressed… i didn’t want to have to come back and face reality, but closer to the end God encouraged me to come back a changed man, and take that excitement with me instead of checking it with my baggage in Africa.

I made some new friends, i wish i had pictures to post, but i will soon.

today i caught up on my personal email, and my Google feed reader (some i just had to check “mark all as read” ) but i did read and listen to all of my “friends” label.

Carl Cherry had a post and linked to this youtube video of Bono’s acceptance speech… seriously cool stuff, and it is connected with Africa - and i really understand what he is talking about now. I read an article by him in rolling stones mag on the way to Africa that was really eye opening too.

it’s good to be back, but i do look forward to my next visit…