in about 231 days we are expecting another child. yep, you read right… we are in for more adventure. Julie has started getting her weekly updates, and this week was informed that our child is the size of a blueberry with hands, legs, an appendix and a pancreas.

read more about “week 7″ on Baby Center

we are taking name suggestions…
so far Julie is leaning toward Joshua Jude [as in “hey jude”], and i want Charles Allen [both our Dad’s middle names] if a boy.
if a girl, Julie likes Rachel Alice [for Margie] , and i like Claire [see: Elizabeth Town movie] or Moriah [region where the mountain was for Abe to kill Isaac] (until tonight when i read the meaning… although it really fits this season of our journey).

i hope i can let Julie do the name deciding this time…

I have never really experienced a family death before, especially not of someone that I felt close too. Margie Jesse’s aunt has been struggling to fight and beat cancer for the last year and half going from breast cancer to tumors to blood clots, surgery after surgery. Her body couldn’t handle it anymore she died Wednesday morning.

The shock wave has come and the tears and the anger and the question of why. But the feelings I have seem much deeper then that. Maybe it’s normal not sure haven’t gone through anything like this before. Knowing that someone you loved and cared about spent time with shared things that you didn’t share with anyone else will never be here anymore.

Right now I am questioning my actions.. and saying ” I wish I had done…..” a lot. I wish i would have talked to her more , visited her more, asked her more questions, done more for her. Although after a recent conversation I told her sorry for not being around more and she understood…. I know that she understood infact she wanted to be close to her husband and kids more then anyone else and that is the way it should be. I say “did she know that we loved her” Yes, she knew. When it comes to in-laws Margie I think always understood me the best and we could always talk about spiritual things or about life and both be on the same page we had some of the same goals and she was in a lot of ways a mentor. If I was ever uncomfortable or shy about certain family things she always understood or encouraged me.

I am not sure what the next step is. I think I feel sad but it’s like deeper then sad it’s afeeling that can’t really be explained. It’s something that I feel hits deep down in the pit of my stomach i think in situations like this you want to be strong but need to admit you are weak. I am weak.

I will miss her!

I am on my way to Africa. Ghana. Google Map ( see village “Ho” )

I am going with a group from Pantano, and the organization: Heartbeat for Africa.

I will be gathering film to create a promotional DVD for the organization, in hopes of exponentially spreading the word about the orphanage they are building and raising money for. It will be a totally new experience for me, and i really am praying that it will be successful in accomplishing the dreams of all the amazing people who have invested so much in this group.

The most amazing thing for me is that ever since i heard about the vision for Africa from Ed i thought… I dare you God… can you do it? I haven’t had to pay anything for the trip (which i could in no way afford) and every single detail has been worked out with no problems. Hmm…. Julie and i struggled in praying and asking God if i should go or not. We finally surrendered and decided to let it happen.

I would really love to have people praying for me and the rest of the team that we are a blessing to the villages, and don’t get sick or lose any baggage. I have a massive to-do list before i go… lot’s to prepare

In a most recent post on my podcast i remembered a song i wrote after getting back from Italy. The funny thing is that today i began writing a song, and half way through i realized what i was doing - “creating something new”… see it happens without me even making a conscious decision. So i quit, and set the song aside until after Easter (Although i am really excited about it!)

To close i want to share an interview with Natalie that i got recorded - Natalie found my mic and learned how to plug in it and so i just opened the sound program and recorded away… it’s actually cute. I must warn you… she does drop the “P” word at the end…. hilarious!

Ministry is really a hard thing to define, or get a grasp on. As I listened to a tape (yes, some old cassette action) of Dean Trune’s teaching on “Listening to God” he mentioned that he expected to learn how to do campus ministry after years at Michigan State, but he only learned about having a relationship with God.

I am beginning to partner with another student ministry in Tucson called The Refuge. Bryan Lee directs the ministry, and i really just love the guy, and his exciting visionary style.

Would you pray that Julie and I would have wisdom as we explore what the partnership would look like?

I am also going to Passion ‘07. I am so excited about this. Impact is not having a leader’s retreat this year, so i took the opportunity to attend this conference as it may be the last Passion gathering of this nature.

I will also be taking some students to a 24-7 prayer conference in February called Take My Life.
It’s Friday & Saturday the 2nd & 3rd in Phoenix.

Keep us in prayer, and send me information on any U of A students you might know.

I did not know exactly what it would be like having two children. I am still not sure it has only been a week , but I am starting to get exhausted. The first week I think you are really full of excitement energy and ready to go, but all that is wearing off. My energy is lacking and my sleep is diminishing quickly.

Natalie seems to be a different girl. Not only is she adjusting to having to share her mommy and daddy time, but she’s hitting that terrible 2 thing a little early (she was already hitting it before David was here) everything is hers and her way or the highway. Yes she was quite spoiled anyway but now i have to learn to share my love, attention between two children… something that will take me a while to learn and i feel as though during that learning process Natalie will be suffering because of lack of love and attention.

I am feeling great physically honestly it doesn’t even feel like I had a baby. I had major back pain because they had to stick me I think 3 times with the epidural because they couldn’t get it in right but that has passed.

My emotions are a little ecstatic unrealistic not really paying attention to what I am doing. Feel real out of it.

Jesse is worn out, stressed out, some of the worst I’ve ever seen we are hoping that things will settle at least for the weekend just a time of no interruptions, however i find that to be unlikely.

We will see.