yep. that’s David sitting on the couch typing away on a laptop.
i have no idea where he gets it from.

notes on flickr

today i spent much needed “down” time on the net.

down time is wasted time really, adding freinds to facebook. write a tweet. making a youtube video of my latest screen saver. search for people on the dreaded myspace (to no avail!). read up on my feeds, organized my bookmarks, and played with a new freeware app for my mac called “butler”.

Butler was the highlight of my evening. i found myself laughing becasue it was so functional. a tool that actually makes things easier… amazing.

one of the other things i did was begin the long process of manually migrating all our old posts from blogger to wordpress. there is probably a faster way to do it, but i have enjoyed reading our old posts…. from 2004… whoa. and that’s when i switched to blogger from freewebs where i had wrote all my posts in html (anyone remember julieandjesse.happy-couple.com in 2003?)

it is interesting to go back and read the struggles we had 3 and 4 years ago. for instance Julie wrote a post in 2005 entitled “Life is Hard” where she said

Ever since our move to Tucson, my whole spiritual life has been challenged and it seems like the easiest thing to do is just give up. [ … ]where is God???

we have come so far, and grown up so much. we posted some of the craziest stuff. some pretty embarrassing even.

so here’s to realizing we have had a website and blog for over 4 years now. let’s hope we learn how to use it someday.

» the happy couple in 9/1/03
* special thanks to The Way Back Machine for keeping an archive of the internet since 1996 or something like that.

these last two days have been a flash back to bible college for me. Glen Elliott, the lead pastor at Pantano Christian Church, is teaching an “Overview of the Bible” class and i have the opportunity of directing the taping and production of the videos of the teaching. I have filmed classes like this 3 times now since being hired as the media coordinator, and each time my respect for the church leaders grows so much, i feel more privileged to have access to the teaching, and i learn more about the technical aspects of video taping something like this.

this class will be the first that is available in HD, thanks to Phil and the new camera!

I will have an update on this in the future with a link to the teaching online.
interactive notes on picture with flickr… 

I had a great mothers day. Natalie got me a picnic basket filled with goodies that daddy promised she picked out all by herself and I have to believe him. She got me everything I needed to make smores, place mats, and little carrying dishes for the food.

Then Jesse and I got to spend all day Saturday together which hasn’t happened in forever!! We saw the movie “what happens in vegas” i liked it I thought it was funny. Not very crude it made me laugh and I haven’t laughed in a long time.

I thought I’d be really down because of the miscarriage and people asking me about and how I felt but as time is going by the pain is residing and the emotions are getting better to handle. I realize that God did such a great thing by this miscarriage. From the very beginning of this pregancy I have not felt good, both my other pregnancies I was never sick, and so happy I loved being pregnant no matter how “fat” i got. But since we found out about this I was sick, nausea all the time no matter how much I ate, I was so tired, I couldn’t do anything, it just did not feel right and I was pretty stressed out. I think that God knew I could not handle this right now. I know it might sound morbid to think this way but I think God answered a prayer that was not directly spoken.

Don’t get me wrong I would have loved to have another baby I love my kids SO much I would have sacrificed whatever I had to for this baby no matter how sick I got but I think God saw that I just could not handle it. It’s a blessing in disguise and in all honestly the whole experience was much worse then the miscarriage.

I still think every once in a while about how I wish i could have done something different to prevent this from happening. Not working, ate better, took my vitamins, relaxed more, didn’t yell so much, but in all I learn that no matter how hard I try I can’t be in control of every situation in my life. I can never hold the outcome in my hands I can only strive to do my best and God does the rest knowing what is best.

During this whole thing Romans 8:28 came to mind because Andrew Hodges quoted this verse SO often so it helped me get through this ordeal.

Jesse and I are moving on and pressing forward and letting God control the future whatever that may be

Thank you everyone who showed concern about the miscarriage. I appreciate it very much. The surgery went well it took 15 minutes.  Waking up for the anesthesia was not so good. I was supposed to be awake and on my way home in an hour I didn’t even wake up for two hours and that who experience was terrible. I do look back at it now and realize I could probably do it again if I had to, but at the time I was the most scared i have ever been. Most people wake up and they are happy smiling and do fine. Me however woke up or was trying to wake up and I was scared, crying, throwing up (from the medicine), and I kept asking for Jesse (he wasn’t no in the recovery room with me and was not allowed in) and asking for Natalie, asking if I was okay where I was. It’s kind of a scary thing when your body is awake and alert but your eyes won’t open and your speech is messed up.  I could hear people around me and hear country music playing in the background but I couldn’t comprehend what was going on. For a couple minutes I really thought I might have been dead, in all seriousness.  I was also very dizzy and had the worst headache all from the medicine I guess. I didn’t stop being dizzy until Friday and so that’s probably when the anesthesia medicine finally wore off completely. I know my mom and my doctor called Friday morning but I don’t remember what they said.I was pretty out of it.

The nurse told me that every once in a while they get a person who wakes up really scared. But usually not. But it was a very emotionally day and the whole ordeal happened so fast it was hard for me to take in.  I know that God had His way whatever that was and I am dealing with that and I’ve had some encouraging words from those who have gone through a similar situation, one who had a miscarriage then months later had twins so you never know.

thank you all for praying for me and for your words of encouragment